Happiness Is The China Shop Love Is The Bull
by Kai88
Summary: AU,OOC set during 3rd book. What is Michael already had a girl friend?
1. Meet Emma O'Connal

Hey! Umm... this is my first Princess Diaries fic. and only my second _ever _so sorry if it sucks.

Any way, this is a bit of an alternative universe. Michael didn't turn up at ice-skating with Judith but a girl called Emma. It will be a M&M at the end 'cause I'm a sucker for happy endings. WARNING: Nothing much happens in this chapter as all i really did was re-write a bit from Third Time Lucky.

Also I'm dyslexic so sorry for any and all spelling and grammar mistakes.

**Saturday, December 5, 11p.m.**

OK, remember how I thought my life was over because I have a boyfriend now and I don't really like him in that way, and I have to break up with him without hurting his feelings, which is, I guess, probably impossible?

Yeah, well , I didn't know how over my life could actually be.

Not until last night anyway.

That's right. Last night, when Lilly-and-Boris and Tina-and-Dave and Mia-and-Kenny were joined by a new couple, Michael-and-Emma.

That's right: Lilly's brother Michael showed up at the ice-skating rink, and he brought with him one of the most pretties girls at our school who isn't a cheerleader, Emma O'Connal.

Emma O'Connal, like Michael, is a senior at Albert Einstein High school. Emma O'Connal, like Michael, is stunningly good looking. Emma O'Connal, like Michael, is always getting asked out on dates.

In fact last year, like Michael, she was voted as one of the most desirable at out school.

Emma O'Connal is one of our school's most desirable. And me? Yeah, I don't even have boobs.

Hmm, gee, I don't know. If you were Michael Moscovitz –you know, a straight A student who got into Columbia early decision and is also one of our school's most desirable- who would you rather go out with? A girl would looks Lana but act's real nice anyway, or a girl who has no chest?

Not that there's even a chance of Michael ever asking me out. I mean, I have to admit, there were a couple of times when I thought he might. But that was clearly just wishful thinking on my part. I mean, why would a guy like Michael, who dose really well in school and will probably excel at whatever career he ultimately chooses, ever ask out a girl like me, who would have flunked out of ninth grade by now if it hadn't been for all those extra tutoring sessions with Mr. Gianini and, ironically, Michael him self?

I mean sure Emma's not an A star student but she's far from dumb. She's really good French and Spanish and German and practically all languages. She just find Science and English hard. She's also really good at numbers and so has no problem with Freshman Algebra. Unlike a certain Princess I know.

So you see Michael and Emma are perfect for each other; there both really nice; there both easy on the eye; and neither of them is flunking a subject.

But if Michael and Emma are so perfect for each other how come when I first saw them walking towards us I got this bad feeling inside?

I mean, I have absolutely no right to be jealous of the fact that Michael asked Emma to go skating with us and that he didn't mind her holding his had. And that he whispered something in her ear that made her blush and give him a long sensuous kiss on the lips. Absolutely no right at all.

Except when I saw them together I was shocked. Michael nearly never hangs out with people who aren't in one of his clubs. And he never normally goes anywhere north of Bleecker Street during the Christmas tree-lighting hysteria.

But there he was. And there was Emma O'Connal, chatting about something and giving Michael kisses every now and then.

I nudged Lilly in the side-she was doing up her skates- and said in a voice that I hoped didn't show the complete despair I was feeling inside, "Look, there's your brother."

And Lilly wasn't even surprised to see him! She looked over and went, "Oh, yeah. He said he might show up."

Show up with a _date_? Did he mention _that_?

I wish Lilly has told me he was coming, that way she could have giving me time to prepare. But she doesn't know about my liking her brother so it never occurred to her to break it to me gently.

Any way here's the way I handled the situation. It was cool, real cool (NOT).

_Me: (Casually to Lilly) _I didn't know your brother and Emma O'Connal were going out.

_Lilly: _Really? I always figured you knew every thing about Michael.

_Me: (Trying to hide my blush) _No I don't know everything about Michael. Why would I?

_Lilly: _No reason. Any way, yeah they've gotten back together.

_Me: _Back together?

_Lilly: _Yeah, in Softmore year they were going steady. But they had a nasty breakup over something or other and Michael was really depressed for a bit before bouncing back. Boris, must you constantly_ breath _on me?

And now I think about it I can Kinda remember Michael being all sad and stuff. I was really concerned because even then I loved him and to see him in pain was to cause myself pain.

_Me: (To Michael and Emma as they walk up) _Oh, hi you guys. Michael I didn't know you knew how to ice-skate.

_Michael: (Shrugging)_ I used to be on the hockey team.

_Lilly: (Snorting) _Yeah, Pee Wee Hockey. That was before...

_Michael: (Interrupting)_Lilly, do you ever shut up?

_Emma: _I love ice-skating! I'm not very good at it though.

And she certainly isn't. Emma is such a bad skater that just to stop falling over Michael had to hold her hands as he skated backwards. I don't know what astonished me more-that Michael can skate backwards or that he didn't mind having tow Emma along. In fact it looked like he was enjoying it. In fact in looked like he was enjoying it so much I found myself wishing Kenny and Emma would disappear and that I couldn't skate so Michael could tow me around.

But as it is Kenny was there. And he seemed to think Michael and Emma's method of skating was preferable to to the old fashioned way. You know solo. So he kept bugging me to hold on to his hands so he could tow me around like Michael was towing Emma. I finally caved after about half and hour of his whining.

Only thing is, Kenny isn't all that grate at skating backwards. I can skate forwards, but I'm not good enough at it if someone is wobbling around in front of me, I can't keep from crashing into him if he doesn't move out the way fast enough.

Which is kinda what happened. Kenny when crashing into Emma causing them to fall so Michael and I got dragged down with them. I would have been funny if my face hadn't landed a inch from Michael's. I could feel his breath on my lip's and all.

Then I quickly got up and started to apologies but Emma just laugh and said I was lucky I had landed on Michael otherwise I could have been seriously hurt.

Lucky!

Oh, I'll tell you how lucky I am:

I'm so lucky that while I lie here in bed with no one but Fat Louie to keep me company the boy I've been in love with since like forever is somewhere with a kind and beautiful girl and most probably has his tongue down her throat.

One good thing about this ice-skating thing thought is that Kenny is really embarrassed about making a fool of himself and so probably wont try to move in to Frenching yet. _Yippee! _

So tell me what you think. If no one likes it I wont bother to continue.


	2. Walking In

I changed the rating because I wasn't really sure I your allowed to mention sex between 15 year olds in PG. So any way tell me what you think and how I can improve and stuff.

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**Sunday, December 6, Limo on the way to Lilly's**

I'm soooo not looking forward to spending my Christmas brake in Genovia. I just looked over my timetable and let me tell you, I hardly have enough time to _eat_ let alone have _any_ fun.

Any way, I'm on my way to Lilly's to tape another episode of _Lilly Tells It Like It Is_. And maybe if I'm luck Michael will come see us without a shirt on.

Got to go, the limo just pulled up in front of Lilly's.

**Sunday, December 6, Moscovitz bathroom**

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

I hate me. I really really do.

Me and Lilly were meant to be hanging out and working on _Lilly Tells It Like It Is_ today but when I got to her apartment Michael opened the door looking annoyed and kinda all scruffy looking but when he saw me he smiled and straightened himself out a bit.

He invited me in and told me Lilly had just left with Boris but I was welcome to stay although Michael regretted to inform me that he couldn't keep me company as he was doing something important in his room. I only wish he had said he wanted privacy. Oh, how I wish it.

So he went to his room and I smooched around the living room for a bit. After about an hour I got bored and so when to tell Michael that I was going and if he could please tell Lilly to call me.

But when I opened his bedroom door I saw just what he him so busy. Emma O'Connal. On his bed. With her tongue shoved down Michael's throat and his had up her shirt. It looked pretty hot and heavy. And there I was standing with my mouth hanging open interrupting there passion.

"Mia!" Michael's voice sounded husky and strained. He went to say something but I ran out and into the bathroom as fast as possible.

Did I mention I hate myself? Because I do. I mean not only do I hate myself but I'm really really depressed because it's not every day you see the guy you love with his hand up another girls top.

I hate me. I hate me. I ha-

**Later Sunday, Michael's room**

OK, the reason I was cut off suddenly was because none other than Michael Moscovitz was knocking on the bathroom door asking if he could come in. I didn't want him to come in after what I had just seen, in fact I never wanted to face Michael again. But it is technically his bathroom so I couldn't say no.

So he came in and just sat by me. Seriously. He just sat there. We must have been sat there for ten minutes and not one word was spoken. I think he was expecting me to say something first. But I was expecting him to say something. I mean he_ is_ the one who came in and sat by me. I finally cracked and broke the silence.

"Where's Emma?"

"She went home. She was kinda embarrassed and stuff." Which I can totally understand. To be honest, I was kinda glad she had gone home. I couldn't face her as well as Michael.

"Oh. I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to walk in on you. I swear I didn't. Please don't hate me." Michael seemed kinda shocked at this. I wouldn't be. I'd hate me if I had walked in on myself making out with someone.

"Why would I hate you?"

"Because I walked in on you and Emma... you know" It was kinda humiliating talking to Michael about all this but he didn't seem to care all that much.

"Did you mean to walk in on us?"

"No."

"Well then it should be me apologizing to you."

What did Michael have to be sorry for? He didn't do anything wrong. Unless there's a rule about having a girl in his room when no one else is about, which now I think about it, probably is true.

I think he saw the confusion on my face because he went on to explain. "I shouldn't have continued with what I was doing with Emma when you showed up, it was rude of me. I should have kept you company. I'm sure Emma would have loved to have hung out with you. I guess my hormones kinda took over my brain for a moment there." It was really bizarre to have Michael mention his hormones to me. "So do you forgive me?"

"Only if you forgive me"

"Deal"

So then we came into his room and stared talking. I don't know how but it managed to get on to Michael and Emma again.

"So how come you and Emma broke up in the 10th grade?"

"Well, up until then Josh Ritcher had been my best friend" To say I was shocked was would be an understatement. Michael and Josh _hate_ each other. Michael smiled "Hard to believe? Yeah well it was true. Any way, me and Emma were serious with each other. Probably more serious than we should have been."

"You don't mean you..." I couldn't finish the sentence so Michael did for me.

"Slept together? Yup, I'm afraid to say. God we were stupid. I mean when we first did we were both only 15. But we loved each other so to us that was all that mattered.

"Any way, sometime just after my 16th birthday me and Emma had this big argument. I can't remember what it was about but we both said some hurtful things. So Emma stormed out and Josh must have found her wandering the streets or she went to talk to him or something. I don't know the details. But the next day I went to talk to Josh about this thing we were meant to be doing together. His mom let me in and told me to go straight into his room 'cause he was still sleeping. He was still sleeping all right. Like I said I don't know the details but I do know my best friend slept with the girl that I loved. I asked them what was going on. I was expecting them to start laughing and tell me it wasn't what it looked like. But they didn't. And it was what it looked like"

After hearing this I was gob smacked. Not only was Michael not a Virgin but his girlfriend had cheated on him for his (ex)best friend. I think Michael was a bit uncomfortable talking about all this with me because he changed the subject from his love life to my love life.

And I don't know if it was the fact that Michael had been able to tell me such personal stuff about himself to me or the fact he was looking at me with those trusting eyes which made me feel really safe or if for a moment I lost all sanity, but I told him.

I told him about how I don't really like Kenny in that way and how I want to brake up with him bur I can't because I don't want to hurt his feelings and how I liked someone else (altho I didn't mention that someone else was him).

Then he sat there looking like he was thinking about something before asking me what if I wanted his opinion. And I of course said yes. And do know what Michael thinks I should do? He thinks I should dump Kenny. _Dump_ Kenny. I can't dump Kenny! He's be heartbroken. But when I mentioned this to Michael he just said that Kenny would be even more upset if he discovered I'd been leading him on. Which you know is true.

So now I'm going to brake up with Kenny. And all because Michael thinks it's the best idea. Why dose it even matter what Michael thinks? I mean even if I do dump Kenny what's it going to change? Michael has Emma and he's not the sort of guy to two-time someone.

At least I don't think he is.

****

Hey not very good I know but I'm rubbish at writing in 1st person. So review and tell me hoe to improve and stuff.

**Alcie: **Umm... Okay then. Bugger you. If you had read what I had written in my author note you would have seen I said all I did was re-write a bit from Third Time Lucky but I guess you're to stupid to notice that? Don't worry I forgive you.

**Cahkoh: **I'm glad you liked it altho like some people pointed out I really didn't do all that much.

**Daydreamer-002:** I did plan on making it different to the book it's just I figured Mia would react the same sort of way to Emma as she did to Judith. However all my other chapters will be written by myself without the help of Meg Cabot.

**Fizzie-lizzie: **Thanks about the idea of a proof reader I may try to find a friend I wont be embarrassed by if they read something I wrote. The only reason there wasn't many spelling mistakes was because I just copped most of it out of a book (as some of my reviews would tell you).

**KristinMilly: **I'm glad you liked the idea altho it probably isn't all that original. I always get an idea then realize someone's already done it.


	3. Kenny Makes A Prat Of Himself

I'm really sorry about all the OOCness. I always have this problem when I try to write stories. It should only me Michael and maybe Mia that are different from the books. So sorry about that!

Nothing much happens in this chapter so don't yell at me if you don't like it. I may just cry.

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**Sunday, December 6, 11p.m.**

Wow. Just wow.

After the talk me and Michael had I really wasn't expecting to have any more surprises to day. I guess I was wrong.

I'd just got back from the Moscovitz's when the phone when. I don't know what I was expecting but I'm telling you I wasn't was I got.

Before that phone call I felt like the worse girlfriend. I mean not only do I not like my boyfriend but I tell the guy I _do_ like all about it.

Now I feel even worse. Because Kenny doesn't just like me. Oh no. He _loves_ me.

But that's not the worse part. No, the worse part is in response I said "Oh, that's nice. See ya!" And hung up.

_Oh, that's nice. See ya!_? Am I completely insane?!

I must be. I must be off my rocket.

I should have said "I'm really flattered but I don't feel the same way. I'm sorry Kenny, I think it would be best if we broke up". That's what I should have said. Then I wouldn't have a boyfriend to feel guilty about. I'd have an ex-boyfriend to feel guilty about.

**Monday, December 7, Homeroom **

Lilly really dose my head in some times.

She thinks I'm wrong and Kenny right about the love thing. Don't even ask me how Lilly knows in the first place. Kenny must have told Boris who must have told Lilly.

I'm surprised Lilly isn't mad at Kenny and Boris talking about us behind our backs. Then again I guess she can't be mad at them when she's so mad at me.

She just keeps going on about how I don't know what I want or something. In fact these are her exact words: "Since you and Kenny started going out all you've done is complain! I don't know what's wrong with you. Before all I ever heard was you complaining about how you didn't have a boyfriend and now you've got one all you ever do is moan about him! Make up your mind!"

I guess I can see Lilly's point. I mean from her point of view it would seem I don't know what I want. But the truth is I know exactly what I want. It's just what I want doesn't seem to want me. But I can't tell Lilly I want someone else because then she'd want to know who I totally can't tell her I'm in love with Michael. She'd kill me. Then she would tell Michael. Who would dig up my remains and burn them.

Any way as it turns out not only has Kenny and Boris been talking about my lack of "I love you"'s but also my lack of tongue action. Or any lip action for that matter.

The cheek! To talk about my mouth like that! I don't know how Lilly can stand it.

But then again Lilly thinks I should tell Kenny I love him.

**Monday, World Civ.**

Tina knows. She knows all to much.

She knows everything Michael knows and more. Because she knows I like/love Michael.

She guessed. Tina guessed. If Tina can guess how long is it going to be before the world knows?

Tina says I should dump Kenny. But for a different reason than why Michael thinks I should dump him. She thinks I should dump him to free my self up for Michael.

When I mentioned being single wouldn't make a difference as Michael already had a girlfriend she just wrinkled up her nose and said it was nothing more than puppy love.

Don't ask me how Tina can tell the difference between real love and puppy love but apparently she can.

Any way, Tina read a book where this sort of thing happened so she's going to think up a plan to get me my guy! Or rather get me Emma's guy...

**Monday, G&T**

I think Kenny knows. About me liking Michael I mean. It's not my fault though! I tripped! I swear to God I tripped!

What happened was me and Michael were talking by the salad bar about something or other (to be honest I was paying more attention to Michael's lips to what was coming out of them) when me being the clumsy fool I am slipped and Michael being the wonderful gentleman that he his put his arms out to save me. Innocent enough except out mouths were inches away and I really really_ really_ wanted to kiss Michael. His lips looked so soft and everything...

And that's when Kenny walked past.

Michael quickly put me back on my feet and we both waved at Kenny who just kept on walking as if he hadn't seen us. But he had. That or he read my mind.

Which wouldn't be such a bad thing. Because then he would know I don't like him in that way so he would dump me before I could dump him. But I can't dump him. He loves me. You don't dump someone that loves you. You also don't string them along under the impression you like them in the same way but that's besides the point.

**Still Monday, French **

Lilly want's a walkout because Mrs. Spears didn't like her term paper idea and asked her to do a new one. I can understand Lilly being angry (it was a very good idea) however I can't just walk out. Not because I'm scared I'll get in trouble (which by the way, I am) but because she want's to so it during Algebra. I can't walk out of that class because of two justified reasons: (1) I'm failing that class so I need all the time I can get to study and (2) because it's my Stepdad's lesson. I can't walk out on poor Mr. Gianini!!

Great. My life just keeps getting better and better.

Next Kenny will be announcing he wants to create babies with me.

****

**Laynie: **Ta very much!!

**Alcie: **You don't have to apologize for not liking it. I really don't mind. Although I do prefer it when people like my fics!

**Cahkoh: **I'm glad you liked it. Even if the first chapter was completely ripped off.

**Robtaymattlouned: **I'm really sorry about the OOCness. Forgive me?

Any way, this was just a filler so don't be mean if you review. Mean reviews make me cry. Do you really want to make me cry? Well do you!?


	4. A Bit Of A Disagreement

Not all that many people like this fic do they? All well. Anyway there is some major OOCness on Kenny's part in this so be warned. And I also apologies for the shortness and crapyness.

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**Monday, 7th December - The Moscovitz Living room**

Well I'm back here again. Michael's meant to be tutoring me in Algebra later. Actually he's meant to be tutoring me _now_. Don't ask me where he is. I don't like being on my own in someone else's apartment. I mean sure I've been in the Moscovitz's before but always with Lilly or Michael.

Oh hold on I think I can hear the door now. There sounds like an argument...

**Still Monday – Listening in on Michael's convo.**

Well it was Michael who came storming through the door. Along with Emma and you'll never guess who else. Kenny.

That's right. Kenny. As in my boyfriend Kenny.

I can't really make out what there saying but Michael sounds pretty ticked off. Kenny and Emma sound like there pleading with him. Just a sec... Did Michael just say my name?

He did!

He said something like: "Well Kenny, what's Mia going to say?" What am I going to say what to?! I don't like the sound of this...

**Monday, Penguin house **

I'm so mad. I'm so damn mad! I hate Kenny! And IhateEmma! And I hate me for not being more upset!

Do you know what they did? Well I'll tell you what they did!

They have been seeing each other behind mine and Michael's back! The cheek!

How dare Kenny cheat on me?! The little twat!

After I heard my name mentioned I moved in closer:

**Michael (M): ** Well Kenny, what's Mia going to say?

**Kenny (K): **Oh God. Michael you can't tell her! I love her!

**M: **Really? Well you've got a funny way of showing it!

**Emma (E): **(In tears) Michael it was a mistake! It meant nothing to me! Please understand! I would never betray your trust again!

**M: **But you did! What's worse you betrayed Mia as well! And you expect me to forgive you?

**K: **No Michael we don't. But please try to understand.

**M: **Understand? Understand?! What's there to understand?! You cheated on me and Mia!

**E: **(Sounding angry) Oh and you were any different?

**M:** (Confused) What? I was never anything less than faithful!

**E:** You may never have cheated on me physically but we both know you didn't love just me!

Michael was having feelings about another girl while dating Emma? My chances with him are even lower than I thought.

**K: **Look lets try to be calm about this. Michael you cannot tell Mia. She would dump me!

**M: **Which reminds me, Emma you're dumped.

**E: **What?! Michael no! I love you! Didn't our time together mean anything to you?

**M: **You said so your self I didn't love you!

**E:** But you did! I was just upset before! You still do love me! You must do! After all we've been through! Kenny means nothing to me! I love you!

Now from where I was standing I could clearly see everything that was going on. By this point it was quite clear Michael was starting to suffer. He had tears rolling down his eyes and every now and then a sob would rise from his throat. I could so totally relate as I myself was crying.

In fact I think that's what gave it away. Where I was that is.

Michael was about to say something back to Emma when he looked my way. "Mia? Mia is that you? Oh shit I forgot our tutoring session!"

Not wanting to be in the position Michael was in at that moment (You know being begged forgiveness) I ran.

And here I am now. Alone. Cold. And yet again boyfriend-less.

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**Minidodos: **Yay! Someone who likes it!

**Robtaymattlouned: **I guess I should have mentioned the last chapter was just a filler. I'm not all to good at this writing thing so sorry Ill try to be more original.

They were my only reviews? Come on you can do better than that!


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